ugly sweater RSS

back to school, bully, face punch, kid survival, santa, sequin, ugly sweater -

I didn't often get punched in the face when I went to school, but it for sure happened once or twice.  What I discovered early on is that if you really seize the day, you tell would-be bullies that you are too vibrant for their bitterness.   Get a sweater on that child, for-crying-out-loud.  Make it an amazing one.  One with tassels and sequins and Santa.  Make a real aggressive statement that your child 'IS HERE, he HAS NO FEAR, and he REFUSES your FACE PUNCH, good sir'.  Meanwhile, the low key element is that a really sweet Ugly Sweater...

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christmas, free shipping, holiday season, milk incident, sweater episode, ugly sweater, warby parker, yoga pants butt -

Clark stepped out of his automobile and delicately placed his Warby Parkers in the palm of his hand alongside a glass wipe.   "It's been a while, since the incident...Kevin." said a calm and collected Clark. He knew that Kevin would dread this very moment, and he chewed it up like a butt in yoga pants. "Kev...I didn't think...you...bro, seriously."  Kevin was lacking rational thought and couldn't express his sorrow for the milking incident of 2014.  Milk was spilled and it will never be unspilled, in the eyes of Clark.   Glasses tucked safely away, it was going to be...

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awkward silence, bay area, free shipping, hella sweet, honda accord, polo shirt, profile pics irl, sweater episode, tinder dates, ugly sweater -

"I can't...without you." Kevin read off of a piece of paper and then crumpled it up and tossed it onto Samantha's parents' lawn.   She though he was alright, but he had only been in the neighborhood for a few years and hadn't developed any reasonable credibility with her social circles.  Not to mention, there were damaging rumors that he grew up in the Bay Area.     "Your sweater is hella savage!" He chimed in through the awkward silence.   Samantha responded, "You cant be here, Kevin.  Clark is on his way and you remember the last time you...

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demi lovato, free shipping, grandma sweater, profile pics irl, romcom, sweater season, tinder dates, ugly sweater, netflix, yoga pants -

Samantha had been grooming herself from head to toe...meticulously, in advance of her long awaited meetup with Clark.  Her Netflix account was on point with a number of male-friendly RomComs in her playlist.  None of them had a Rotten Tomatoes score of less than 45%.  Perfect for some &Chill time.   At 9:05PM, there was a sharp knock at the door.  HE WAS EARLY!  She quickly put on her favorite yoga pants and grabbed whatever she could from Grandma-ma's closet as she raced to the front door.  She could see his silhouette through the decorative door window.  It excited her...

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bieber cologne, free shipping, holiday threads, kik friends, oversized santa, profile pics irl, romance, sweater season, tinder dates, ugly sweater -

'How big is your Santa?' she asked seductively. Clark had been courting Samantha on Tinder for nearly 8 minutes when he finally built up the nerve to escalate the conversation from text to voice.  'Are you sure you can handle my Santa?' he volleyed into Samantha's court. She truly had never had even seen a Santa that large, but she was in too deep now and she couldn't let her Kik friends down that she had bragged about her exploits to with past Tinder guys. It was so on.  Really on, IRL.  Clark gave a few more spritzes of his...

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